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Best Semester Yet. February 4, 2014

Filed under: Uncategorized — bloggirls12 @ 6:49 am

Well, I’m back at school now for my spring semester, sophomore year.  So far it has been a pretty rough two weeks.  Not only has all of these snowdays caused everyone to feel “pent up” and full of “cabin fever” but it has also created and caused a lot change. 

You know, I suppose they say everything happens for a reason, well, sometimes, what happens really sucks. 

Over the past two weeks I’ve been noticing three of my best friends withdraw themselves from me.  They started hanging out separately, not inviting me to things, and quite frankly, be down right mean.  Of course, being the 20 year old emotional girl that I am, I’ve been a wreck.  I used to wake up in the morning with such a positive outlook on my life, and on the lives of others.  Now I just wake up wondering when I am going to be kicked next.

You know, when I think about it, if 2/3 of those girls decided to stop being my friend that is all fine.  That’s all they had to say.  But the other one, well, that is what really hits home.  For this other girl, Emma, was my best friend.  And I kid you not when I say best friend.  We were inseparable, did everything together, went everywhere together, everything about our relationship was together.  She was the one person I felt most comfortable around when I needed a good laugh, a good cry, a meal buddy, a practice buddy, a clarinet buddy, and especially just a good friend.  She even is going to be living in the same apartment I am next year with 2 other girls.  But Emma isn’t acting like Emma right now.  She has adopted new mannerisms, and new things about her in general.  She is very mean, and says some things that are very hurtful towards me and others.  It is not a look of her own.  And I do not like it one bit at all.  

So after two weeks full of tension, sub-tweets, other forms of cyber bullying, bitchy texts, glares, and many other awkward exchanges I finally bucked up the courage to say something to Emma.  All she had to tell me was that she wanted to get the old group from freshman year back together and that it was time for us to grow up.  Well first off I think that is totally dumb.  We can’t go back to the way things were freshman year, and there is a reason why they are the way they are now.  The second we started pledging our sorority, everything changed.  We changed.   There is a very good reason why we are not the way we were freshman year.  And honestly, I don’t want to go back.  Why should i give people second changes who don’t deserve them?   I like to see the benefit of the doubt and the small beam of light in everyone, but there are only so many times someone can be stepped on before they move on.  So in response to her proposal of “getting the gang back together” no I don’t want to.  Nor should I have to. 

So that brings us to Sunday, when it was time to vote on new members for our sorority.

Well obviously I can’t post what happened in the meeting, but one of the three girls I mentioned, did not get in, and since then has been taking it out on me.  What I don’t understand is how something that is a 2/3 majority is singularly my own fault?   Also, how does she know it was me because it wasn’t like she can know anything that happened during the meeting.  The sisterhood had it’s reasons, and I stand by that choice.  Just because she didn’t get what she wanted, doesn’t mean it is the right thing to do to post passive aggressive posts all over the face of the internet. 

And then there is the third girl I haven’t mentioned yet.  Don’t get me started on her.  She is constantly looking for someone else to pick on, to kick, to cause drama with, she is never content with the way the world works.

And honestly, I feel sorry for these girls.  Sorry that they will never know what happiness is like.  Sorry that what they say and what they do will not break me.  I have come too far in my short 20 years of life to let this stop me now.  I have goals, aspirations, dreams, and I fully intend on accomplishing them.  One day, I will have an absolutely fantastic teaching job, making an impact every single day on my future music students.  I will continue to wake up with the intention of paying it forward every single goddamn day.  I will never let the negativity take over my life like it has these past two weeks ever again.  I am better than that.  I am not the three of them, who feel “unfriending me” on social media is a way to say we are not friends in real life anymore.  Well, you know what, while they’ve been off with themselves, I’ve made some other pretty damn good friends, that have stuck by me through all of this.

I know the worst is not over, it might not even have come yet, but I think I can handle it.  “No storm can shake my inmost calm, while to that rock I’m clinging.” -How Can I Keep From Singing

I thank my lucky stars every day that I picked up an instrument when I was a kid.  I do not know where i would be without music in my life.  The way I feel about music, is hard to put into words.  But right now, I am so incredibly thankful to have it in my life.  Even though music school is tough and full of bumps and bruises and successes and disappointments, at the end of the day, I’m glad I’ve gotten where i have, and I only know there is so much more room to grow from here.

So here’s to the best semester yet, it has started out pretty rough, but like all things, time will take care of this one.  All I can do for now is just look to grow stronger with those who love me unconditionally. 

All my best,



Sophmore year, Fall Semester December 17, 2013

Filed under: Uncategorized — bloggirls12 @ 2:30 am

Wow, it has certainly been a long time since I wrote on here.  A whole semester has slipped through my fingers without a single update from me. 

Well, all is well, I have returned home for my month long winter break-siesta in one piece.  Meaning: I SURVIVED SOPHOMORE SUICIDE SEMESTER.

But despite my survival of the semester I cannot say that I did not come out unscathed.  Classes got harder this semester, and by that I mean, a LOT harder.  Have you ever tried dictating a minor melody in 6/8 time that modulates? Yeah, Aurals 3 sucked.  Theory 3 was literally us analyzing Beethoven string quarters for an entire semester…in fact I can sing you all of Opus. 18 No. 1, first movement.  If that doesn’t make you want to rub your eyeballs with sand paper, well then music history will.  Music History 1, is a three day a week required class for music ed. majors, taught by the one and only Dr. B (otherwise known as Scottie B.) Scottie B. is reminiscent of a Professor Binns figure from the Harry Potter series… he literally just drones on in a monotone for 50 minutes three days a week and sends our melted brains on their merry way.  Also, did I mention we aren’t even learning about cool things like Brahms or Bernstein.  No, we spend all semester learning about Gregorian Chants, black square notation, and medieval recorders.  If that doesn’t sound like a bucket of fish butts then I don’t know what is. 

Luckily, Scottie B. is the only professor teaching Music History 2 next semester.  I’m so excited.

Also, for Theory 4 I have the hardest professor in the theory comp. department, Dr. R.  He fails students for fun.  I’m literally terrified.  And Aurals 4 is taught by a professor who kind of reminds everyone of a sad clown he needs a hug, Dr. C.  Now I had Dr. C for Aurals 1, but this is Aurals 4, where we might as well be learning perfect pitch (anybody get the joke?) so I literally have no idea what I’m in for next semester regarding that aspect.

Besides classes, life was pretty crazy this semester.  I finished up my last season ever of marching band.  It didn’t exactly go out with a bang just because this season has been pretty rough and was what made my mind up about continuing to march next year.

We started out with an awesome band camp, despite the hard work that band camp requires.  I was having a great time and my section of 38 clarinets got along GREAT. We even ended the week with a clarinet barbeque at one of our section leaders houses.  Well the tides quickly turned once real school started.  All four of our section leaders turned into butt heads, who were just butt hurt about everything.  Even the one who is one of my best friends would routinely get all up in me and Diana’s grill about us being too loud/obnoxious/not focused/etc. Okay, well maybe sometimes we were a little loud but honestly we were just trying to make marching band a fun experience for everyone, and I’m sorry that you were trying to suck up to become drum major but by telling us “That since you guys are my friends and you’re being loud you’re making me look bad” isn’t going to make us want to stop.  Sorry not sorry.   Two of our other section leaders literally just did nothing, which was frustrating and then there was Nick.  Actually we called him Nick the Dick, but don’t tell him that.  He is in my year, and pursuing the same degree as I am, and in my studio, so I have to deal with him all of the time.  This guy is just not a nice guy.  He has nothing nice to say, he has no support and encouragement to offer, and he is just all an all around jerk.  He has no regard for rules, being on time, or anyone else but himself.  To make matters worse he placed right below me in wind ensemble this semester so I had to sit next to him.  Well, Nick the dick, showed up late and high to our dress rehearsal the night of the first wind ensemble concert of the first semester, and luckily for us, he was kicked out the very next day, you don’t mess around with wind ensemble.  That also tanked his reputation which already was pretty pour on the field.  No one took a word he said seriously by the end of the season, and he ranked towards the bottom of the studio for spring ensembles, so I guess karma works in mysterious ways.  But back to marching band, well besides having butthurt section leaders, they also just pushed us a little too hard this season.  They never let us out of practice on time, we had literally one weekend off the ENTIRE semester.  To make matters worse they decided it would be a good idea to stick us on a bus and ship us to Georgia for a weekend.  Now let’s put this into perspective.  We go to school in PA.  That’s pretty far from GEORGIA.  Also, it takes 8 busses, an equipment truck, and the Lord’s Chariot (Staff Bus), to transport this band.  So we board the busses at 4 am that Friday morning (#nosleeptillGeorgia), and we did not stop again until 10pm that night when we arrived.  All because we hit two hours of traffic so we missed our dinner stop.  Now we arrive, have to perform at some high school in the middle of GEORGIA, and then they feed us pizza, usher us into a gym that was way too small for 350 people and say “lights out! see you at 6am for breakfast!” and then you wake up in the morning, have a 7-11:30 practice, board the busses and drive another hour to Atlanta.  There you go to get into the Georgia Dome (where the Atlanta Falcon’s play) where we are performing, and security is being boobs and decides, they are going to do a bag check on EVERY SINGLE PERSON ON EVERY SINGLE BAG.  Now keep in mind, everyone has: 1. their garment bags 2. their shako boxes 3. their instrument cases 4. probably a personal bag with money/change of clothes etc. THERE WERE TWO SECURITY GUARDS WORKING AND 350 OF US.  I was standing there for at least two hours.  Then we finally get into the dome, pay $7.50 for a hot dog, and then have to report for a 3 hour warm up.  After that we go and perform for all these high schools who really don’t care much that you’re there, because this is GEORGIA and no one knows what school we’re from.  Worst of all, our opening visual is some sort of weird move that involves looking like a fish flopping around one second to being standing up straight the next, well clutsy over here falls during her visual go figure, and the best high school marching band in the nation watches me do it.  So we finish performing, then they board us back on the busses and we drive straight through the night.  Luckily the whole bus brought enough sleeping pills to knock out a small army, but even they weren’t enough.  So then you wake up and be uncomfortable for a little longer and now it’s about 12, well they announce we’re actually stopping for lunch.  So they drop us off at this mall, which is go figure, closed.  So then they board us all again (keep in mind how long it takes to board all of these busses) and drop us off in some shopping center and tell us to fend for ourselves, they will see us in an hour.  Finally it’s around 5 and the busses roll into campus.  Now all you have to do is the 12 + hours of homework that you couldn’t do on a moving bus….

That was the Georgia trip.

Also if any of you reading this ever become band directors of any sort, please, for the sake of your students, don’t ever, ever, ever, ever, sign them up for a Thanksgiving Day Parade.  That was another awful experience.  Also the fact that I had to march in torrential downpour like 8 times this season and I’ve totaled my clarinet didn’t really help either.  So combine crappy leadership, a lot more time then you really have to dedicate to something, an awful Georgia trip, a lot of rain, and a lot of time spend being uncomfortable, and you have my marching band season.  I know I sound butthurt to the 10th power right now, but this season left a pretty bad taste in my mouth.  

Well besides all of that, this has been an interesting semester friend wise.  I finally got to live with someone I liked, Mary Kate, who is one of my best friends, and it has been a hilarious semester.  The antics that go in our room, I couldn’t even explain them all.  We have bunk beds, and a futon, so there is always people over, especially my friend Diana, and of course Gary.  Don’t worry, he isn’t out of the picture yet either, but we’ll get to him.  Diana and I also got really close this semester, and her, me, Mary Kate, and our friend/sister Jess are all going to be living in an off campus apartment this coming summer/junior year.  I am beyond excited for our apartment and I wish we could move in tomorrow.  It literally will be the perfect group of girls.  All sisters, all music majors, and all of us are pretty hilarious.  So the future has many exciting things in store!

So a Gary update.  We have gotten if possible, closer than we were before.  Also, his girlfriend and him have planned their breakup.  PLANNED THEIR BREAKUP.  Ugh. He wanted to break up with her a few months ago, but she wanted to wait until after Christmas, probably because she just wants a present.  Also, this semester I finally told him I had feelings for him.  Shocker right? Well he already knew.  He’s known since the middle of our second semester, but we both agreed not to make it awkward and if anything we got closer after we talked about it.  Still, no talk of us ever becoming a thing, but the girlfriend is still in the picture at this point.  We’re both going to be living in at school this summer so who knows, and we also scheduled the majority of our classes together for next semester so that will be fun.  We shall see what happens, I’ve calmed down a lot in the “thirsty” catagory, and have spent this semester just appreciating his friendship.  That has certainly brought us closer and I have learned that if it is meant to happen, it will, until then, we will continue to be best friends. 

So that pretty much is a short synopsis on this past semester, I’ve met a lot of new people I look forward to getting to know better next semester, and I have strengthened a lot of friendships I had already made.  For now, all I can do is enjoy this next month off and enjoy every moment of what the future has in store for me!

Thanks for reading,



Life Tip #34

Filed under: Life Tips — bloggirls12 @ 1:49 am

Communication is literally the most important thing in any kind of human interaction.  Don’t be afraid to communicate or nothing will change.


Hey Guys December 6, 2013

Filed under: Clarys Corner — bloggirls12 @ 3:52 am

Well I’m back again! I guess I’m just going to say my entire life right now. Lets start with relationships. I’m dating this guy i’ve like for a long time. At least since last school year. We went to homecoming together and went on a date after that and i’ve been really happy. But there are always problems, however, its not him. First off, i’m extremely flirt. Like its really bad and detrimental and he’s been getting jealous. So we talked for a long time and I think that’s cleared up although he’ll still be jealous but he knows it him I want. So today brought the issue of me being… “unemotional.” if you will. But thankfully that was resolved as well. Next part of my life: school. It’s.. extremely stressful. Senior year… woooo. AP classes are just painful at times. I just get so stressed… And i know this sounds bad but i hate when a 90 brings my grade down. from where it was. What else… oh yes jazz band. We got the audition piece last week. The saxes are the only ones who have to audition because there are 5 altos for 2 spots. Fantastic. I didnt realize we were auditioning this week. Im not in band this semester and have heard nothing. I get second hand information that could have been changed. I got my music from someone else. Im not told by my director which is a bit frustrating. He emailed me about auditioning through the email address I dont use which i guess is not his fault except the majority of emails he sends to me are through my school email. I have barely had any time to practice although its not that difficult. im just freaking out. Ive been doing this four years this year and i really don’t want to be kicked out by underclassmen and even someone who doesn’t technically go to our school. I hope all goes well tomorrow. Im nervous to see how it plays out.

Thats all i have for now.

Thanks for listening,



High School Tip #6 December 5, 2013

Filed under: High School Tips — bloggirls12 @ 11:15 pm

As a senior, cherish every moment you have. Don’t get caught up in friend or boy drama, just enjoy your last year.


High School Tip #5

Filed under: High School Tips — bloggirls12 @ 11:14 pm

For the love of God… if you take an AP class don’t let study time slip past you. You will regret it in the end.


Time to Catch Up

Filed under: I am Layla — bloggirls12 @ 11:07 pm

Oh my goodness. It certainly has been a while!!! I have so much to say but I will try to keep it short. First off a new “Chart of Importance” is on its way. I looked that the old one today and laughed because it is so outdated haha. So hopefully that will be posted soon. So basically Samuel and I dated for a while but I was unhappy with the relationship because we had nothing in common. It was actually really boring. I ended up breaking up with him which is kind of sad because he truly was a really nice guy. He just was not right for me.

So then this past summer I spent A LOT of time with my best guy friend in the world, Rick. Now this might bring back some memories from past posts. Rick dated Courtnie and it ended badly. Like really bad. But to be completely honest, he is not a bad person. Sure sometimes he makes me soooooo angry but don’t all of our friends? I got to know him really well which is not so bad but at the same time I kind of fell for him >.< Trouble right? Ahhh. That is even new to a couple of the girls that post on here. I have not told everyone that. This past year he left for school in another state so I don’t get to see him that often but I can totally tell you that he is doing a lot better now that he is out of his house and our high school. When he does come home I am always excited because he truly is my best friend and I miss him like crazy regardless of our “status.”

So to add even more to this drama… Rolf (Alice’s Ex) ended up having a thing for me over the summer and into the school year. We went to homecoming together, which was no big deal because we went as friends. Well, I thought we did. Turns out he “loved” me which is not true cause he says that about every girl that he falls for. He doesn’t really know what he wants. Now all of a sudden he found a new girl and they are moving reallllly fast. This actually really concerns me because I feel like he is going to do something stupid that he will regret but I guess it is not really my business.

Ummm wow okay I think that actually might be it. I hope that you all stick with us as we try to get this blog up and rolling again. Have a lovely night everyone 🙂